10 Myths about Personal Executive Presence

Let’s set the record straight right away!

1. Personal Executive Presence (PEP) is only for business leaders

Yes and No. It is true that highly developed PEP is found (and expected) in high-functioning business leaders and executives (hence the “E” in PEP). However, everyone has the potential to develop their PEP and express it in whatever their work and personal setting is. Once developed, PEP enhances your functional capacity and enjoyment in any life situation.

2. PEP is innate; you’re born with it and you either have it or you don’t.

Every human being has the innate capacity for PEP. Upbringing, education, culture and overall life experiences do impact its fullness and expression. But with guidance, training and practice, almost everyone can noticeably develop their PEP.

3. PEP is born from adversity.

While some well-known leaders developed their PEP in serious adversity (Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill and Oprah come to mind), adversity is not required to develop PEP. Adversity can speed up the development of PEP by supplying a compelling reason to work on it. But a more efficient (and enjoyable!) path to PEP is through deliberate practice. While this can be done through self-study, the help of a specialist speeds up the process.

4. PEP is stable.

The more established and practiced you are in your PEP, and the more you have dismantled your inner divisions, the more accessible, stable and deep your PEP will be. However, I have yet to meet a leader who never loses touch with their PEP. So relax, the goal is not to become “perfect in PEP”, but to see it increasingly come through in your day-to-day functioning.

5. PEP is all about your gender, race, age, pedigree, height, hair, beauty, voice, etc.

First impressions count, and humans tend to base them on their fellow humans’ most superficial characteristics. I have observed that a positive first impression of a leader tends to contribute only a little to their PEP; however a negative first impression greatly degrades it. The most important factor here is not their body or face but basic grooming – their intention and attention to their appearance.

The more you develop PEP, the more you find your inner state naturally expressing itself in your appearance and behavior, authentic and in integrity with your unique values and esthetics. Because you’re open and in touch with your environment, you’ll easily attune your appearance to your audience and the task at hand – and that further builds others’ awareness of your PEP.

It is important to note that PEP does not make you immune to the various unfounded individual, group or societal biases that sadly exist against different minority groups. However, grounded in PEP you will quickly pick up on such biases and respond appropriately from PEP, with PEP. You will find ways to wisely yet authentically adapt your dress, communication and actions to the situation you move into (or choose to stay out of).

6. PEP is all about your body language and wardrobe.

PEP is expressed in your outward presentation, including in your bodily movements, facial expressions and wardrobe. However the reverse is not true: An impressive outward presentation is not necessarily evidence of PEP, does not equate to PEP, and does not lead to PEP. Outer EP flows from Inner EP, not the other way around. A bit of a closer look at that leader’s sharp outfit may quickly reveal whether or not there is actual Inner EP underneath. Beware of the leader who looks good on the outside but cracks under pressure; you may be witnessing their dreaded shiny shell.

One important note is that even a little bit of distracting body language (twitching and fiddling come to mind) or an unkempt or ill-chosen wardrobe can severely degrade PEP. Fortunately, these are usually expressions of a specific inner division that can be identified and resolved.

7. PEP is all about your charisma and speaking skills.

As with body language and wardrobe, charisma and effective speaking skills are commonly found in people with PEP. However, they result from PEP, and are not the cause of PEP. You know charismatic people without substance; they don’t have PEP (but may have a shiny shell). Upon closer scrutiny and with time the image is revealed as just that: an image. While your delivery does help to create the connection with your audience, what matters most is your authenticity and alignment with your inner EP – that’s what makes the real impact.

8. PEP looks, feels, sounds and acts a certain way – and that’s not me!

If you have developed your PEP, people will experience you and your actions as positively different from the average. And they could interpret that as evidence that you’re acting. But true PEP is quite the opposite: it is a way of being that originates in inner EP, which is an authentic experience of yourself. It is true that this experience and the resulting way of being are uncommon in the world; however you are being authentic and true – you are being YOU.

And just like you, your PEP is unique! That’s why it is Personal Executive Presence. True PEP allows our authenticity, realness and uniqueness to come forward and shine through into the world, one individual leader at a time. That said, in Western corporate culture, leaders have for a long time looked and sounded overwhelmingly like white straight males. It is a sad reality that a leader who does not match this archetype may have a difficult time to be recognized as the leader they are. In fact, research shows that, while a lack of PEP is a major detriment to anyone wanting to rise to a more impactful leadership position, this is even more true for people who do not look and sound like most leaders today.

It is therefore even more important to cultivate your PEP, and guard against giving up your authenticity and uniqueness in an attempt to “fit in” or be “one of the boys”. Sacrificing authenticity and uniqueness and becoming somebody you are not is a direct introduction of severe inner division by creating an expedient but false and inauthentic identity that is seriously at odds with your unique, authentic identity. The inner conflict destroys your inner EP and consequently your outer EP; people catch on, you feel like a fraud and it never really works.

As an example, speaking skills differ among leaders with PEP. Some are verbal virtuosos, some captivate, motivate and inspire loyalty through the copious quantities, dazzling colors and glorious richness of their words, while others instill trust, confidence and support through their simple, pithy straight-talk. Some illustrate their words with animated hand, face or whole-body movements, while others leave a lasting impression through their mountain-like solidity, stillness and depth.

The key is to not emulate any of these styles, but to find, own and double down on your unique, authentic style as the natural expression of your inner EP. Of course you can practice, polish and perfect, but do not become something you’re not. If you encounter resistance to the expression your unique PEP takes, become even more Personally Present and trust your PEP to guide your best course of action in the moment.

9. PEP makes me unapproachable.

Your PEP is powerful, and its impact is felt by those around you. It’s important to remember, however, that true PEP does not just bring power, confidence and action. It also brings intelligent, attuned, personal communication. Your PEP functions with warmth, genuine respect, deep listening, a personal connection and a light touch. Some people are intimidated by competence and confidence, but you bring more than that. Once they feel that, they’ll relax. Consistently, PEP is magnetic.

10. PEP is arrogance.

Yes, your PEP is powerful. And don’t we all know that power corrupts? Studies show that our good, socialized and “nice” behavior rather easily turns into arrogance and abuse once we have acquired power and think we no longer need others. However, these are actually defenses against dreaded feelings such as powerlessness and poor self-esteem that stem from inner conflicts and were there all along.

While PEP is powerful and can be felt by you and by those around you, it is also the antidote to pride and arrogance. Grounded in the deep experience of your personal power, authenticity and real self-esteem, you will have little need for defenses. Your inner EP supports a quiet, palpable confidence that withstands any tendency towards self-inflation. Your clear mind understands the impact of your behavior, and your open heart knows the effects of your actions on others. It becomes the most obvious thing to share these inner treasures with those around you. I personally do not know anything that is more satisfying, fulfilling and fun than a life of service with PEP!